Post by Ravenpaw on May 17, 2012 20:04:34 GMT -5
I got a lot to say to you
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Name; Ravenpaw (Ravenmoon)
Gender; She-cat
Alliance; Moonclan
scribbled out the truth with their lies
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Personality; Ravenpaw has a very cold outlook about everything, she’s often sarcastic, and doesn’t like anyone, She's very cold and distant, She has a hard time trusting any cats and tends to push them away, she does care for her clan despite her cold comments, but never shows it. She always feels the need to be alone, and loves to learn about herbs, she has a very good memory. With a severe lack of any significant parental figures, She disrespects any and all authority figures execpt for the leader, and her mentor but there are times where she isn’t afraid to defy authority, even if it gets her in trouble. She's not very kind only because she doesn't know how to be, her tongue is swift and sharp will all sorts of rude comments, and swift rejections. Ravenpaw doesn't like working with anyone who won't listen to her, in fact she refuses to. Ravenpaw is stubborn and headstrong beyond belief, she never gives up on anything she starts no matter how long it takes, and she isn’t afraid to back up her statement with violence, though she cannot fight, is she very good at lashing out with her words.
Flaws; She's got a limp leg, her front shoulder is broken and she can't move to fast, being very slow is hard for her so she can't hunt or fight.
Advantages;She's amazing with herbs, she can remember them easily and knows where to find them, she is a good Medicine cat apprentice.
i noticed your eyes are always glued to me
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Appearance; Ravenpaw is a small black cat, smaller then your average apprentice, her body is quite slim with very little muscle, but she also very fast because she is so light. She has short but silky fur which is well kept, with a skinny yet long tail, a pointed muzzle and slightly pointed ears. She has a large scar on her back that is covered with fur, but is still visible if you look hard, sometimes when she thinks about the past it hurts. Her eyes are a strange icy blue, and have an almost dull yet very fierce look to them. On her right shoulder looks oddly placed sometimes, and she often walks with a limp, she has gotten better at hiding it but it is still there.
Short Description; Small black she-cat with icy blue eyes.
i'd rather waste my life pretending than have to forget
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History; Note, this is written is story form as it is the best way to express it. And it shows off my rp skills.
Ravenpaw gazed out quietly in the rain. For once she was laying down in the apprentice's den which was odd for her. She rarely sat in the apprentices den anymore, mostly because of Smallpaw's death which had been tragic. She recalled her history no one knew her full story, not that she was truly willing to tell anyone what happened to her. Ravenpaw laid down her head, her life was always full of pain and sorrow, and now that she is finally making friends she is messing it up because she's afraid to lose them. She even pushed her mentor away when she needed the help. Her fear of loving… of being loved was far stronger then her on will to not be the way she was. Was she born like that? Was she born a cold hearted Monster? Was she born soulless? No. She was born as happy as she could be, but she lost everything. All she had lost to death. She longed to join them herself, but she could not.
Her icy blue eyes recalled what her father had told her about her mother, of whom she never met. She had never met Darknight her mother. She had been told that Darknight was a smaller she-cat, black as night just as Ravenpaw is. But her eyes were not the strange twisted icy blue that Ravenpaw's was, her mother's eyes had been the most gentle blue colour you would have ever seen. But her mother wasn't a gentle cat, she was often trying to pick fights, she was wild and untamed, she had been told she was just like her. She had also been told of her siblings, she had only ever met one, Smallpaw, he had been her twin and had been with her almost all her life, the longest to last out of her family that died around her. Her other brothers and sister had died at birth and her mother died with them. 5 kits and only two survived out of them.
Shockmask had been her father; he was a small black tom with fiery orange eyes just like her brother Smallpaw. But Smallpaw just like her was all black, and Shockmask had a grey face, hense his name Mask. Shockmask had been the bravest cat she ever did meet. She missed him a lot, he died in the river that she fell in while playing with Smallpaw, he had saved her life but lost his own. Then you had her beloved twin brother. Smallpaw was the same kit size as she was, the only difference between the two were their personalities and his eyes. Her eyes the coldest icy blue as cold as a moonless night in leaf-bare. And his eyes, a brilliant fiery orange like that of a thousand warm suns. They matched his personality, he was a wonderful cat that everyone loved, and he was so nice and happy all the time. The opposite of everything she was but he.. he completed her, he was her other half, and when he died he took that half with him and killed her on the inside. How couldn't she miss them so much? Her mind trailed off to times in her life that she loved the most.
Smallkit meowed happily, "Let's go!" he shouted trotting around the nursery, "Where?" Ravenkit meowed quietly, he was so loud and she so quiet. Smallkit blinked and looked like he was in deep thought, "Well…uhhhhhhh" he moaned trying to think, "To… Za Moon!" He meowed staring up into the night. Ravenkit followed his gaze, "How?" She asked, Smallkit shot her a look, "You don't ask how you just do it!" he said, "Then how do you do it?" she asked, Smallkit gave her a blank look, "I was hoping you could tell me" He meowed, Ravenkit sweat dropped, "Mouse-brain" she said. Smallkit flashed her a goofy grin, Ravenkit smiled and bat him with her paw.
He had been a mouse brain yes, but he had been her mouse brain.
"Smallkit, Ravenkit, how are you both?" The large tom padded into the nursey, Silentmirror had just finished beating them, the two to afraid to tell looked at him, "F-Fine" They stammered. "You two look awful what happened?" he meowed, "Me and Ravenkit were fighting and she won again" Smallkit frowned, "She's getting to good at it" He meowed swiftly, he was great at lying and for that Ravenkit was grateful, Ravenkit smiled, "Yea" She said, Shockmask smiled, "That's my girl, but try not to beat each other to much" he purred, the kit's nodded, "Can we ride on your back?" Ravenkit asked with hope in her little icy blue eyes. Shockmask's fiery orange eyes met hers he laid down, "hop on" he said, Smallkit smiled and raced over jumping on his back, Ravenkit followed after him laying in front of Smallkit, Smallkit smiled and nuzzled his sister, Ravenkit nuzzled him back. Shockmask got up and padded off with them around camp. Ravenkit smiled happily and Smallkit grinned happily. "I feel like a king" He meowed, Ravenkit smirked and rolled her eyes, "now how do you feel?" She asked kicking him with her hind paws, he yelped and fell off. He shook off his fur and looked at her, "hey!" he laughed, Shockmask murrowed with laughter, "You two stop that" he laughed, Ravenkit smiled sheepishly, Smallkit blinked, "hey wait for me!" he said running after them, the three laughed happily.
Ravenpaw sighed she remembered that moment well, they were so happy together.
Smallpaw smiled at Ravenpaw, "Look we're already apprentices! Next up Warriors!" he meowed excitedly, Ravenpaw nodded, "yea I can't wait to get my name!" She said, Smallpaw nodded, "If I could have any name it would be Smallshard" he meowed, "Cuz it sounds cool" he purred, Ravenpaw giggled, "Yes it does, maybe I'll be like Ravenpelt or something" She said, "Ravenmoon suits you better" Smallpaw smiled gently, Ravenpaw blushed and nudged him, "I do like that name" She meowed. "And maybe one day it will be Ravenstar, the best leader in all of Moonclan" Smallpaw purred, Ravenpaw smiled in awe, "Just so long as there is a Smallshard to be my deputy" she said, "Leader and deputy it is then!" Smallpaw smiled, "We'll show this clan that we may be small, but our hearts are as big as all of Starclan!" he meowed, "Starclan!" Ravenpaw purred and tackled him, they rolled playfully. Ravenpaw stepped a little too close to the gorge though, a crack was heard as the edge gave way she screamed and fell. "RAVENPAW!" Smallpaw shrieked, watching her fall. Ravenpaw landed in the cold river, she felt freezing as the water attacked at her fur, the small apprentice didn't know how to swim as she flailed about in the water. Her head finally came up and she screamed, "SMALLPAW!" She yelled fearfully as she tried to stay above the rapid moving water which was dragging her away swiftly.
"Ravenpaw!" Shockmask gasped seeing the small speck of black in the sea of river. He swiftly jumped into the water and swam towards his daughter. Ravenpaw fell under again, the rocks digging at her as she was tossed around the bottom, she struggled to stay awake, her head hitting a rock painfully, she felt faint. Her icy blue eyes managed to open and see a large black dot coming towards her, that dot was her father. Shockmask swam to her and pulled her up, the water thrashing against them. "F-Father" Ravenpaw coughed up water, Shockmask smiled at her gently, "I have you Ravenpaw" He said, Ravenpaw gasped as the water hit them again, she coughed more roughly now, "it's okay" Shockmask told her, "Your going to live I promise, I see a kindness in you that I saw in your mother, you will be a great cat someday Ravenpaw, now go live and be happy" he smiled he knew he would never make it out trying to swim, but Ravenpaw could get out. "Father!" Ravenpaw meowed not understanding, Shockmask lifted her out of the water and threw her to shore, Ravenpaw screamed as she landed shoulder first, a crack was heard and she yelped in pain crying as her shoulder had broken. She tried to look up, her icy blue eyes catching her father's fiery orange ones, then the water hit him and he disappeared forever. "Father!" Ravenpaw meowed worriedly trying to get up, "Ravenpaw!" Smallpaw meowed running to her, he nuzzled her gently, "Are you okay? Where's father?" he asked, Ravenpaw cried as she looked at the water, she lowered her head, "He's gone" She said sadly, Smallpaw looked at the river and then her, he started to cry and laid down with her, comforting the poor she-cat.
Ravenpaw's frown only worsened as her eyes filled with sorrow, it had taken a patrol hours to find the apprentices hours because they never came back to camp and finally someone noticed. By that point in time her shoulder was having a hard time healing and never healed properly. She missed her father, her father so nice and kind. How couldn't she miss him? His warm smile. His fiery orange eyes. Smallpaw had spent a lot of time trying to cheer her up along with him self. Smallpaw and Ravenpaw finally stopped mourning over their father, but they would never forget him. They moved on but were still sad and missed him a lot.
Smallpaw looked at Ravenpaw his lovely warm fiery orange eyes watching her icy blue. Ravenpaw smiled slightly at him, "You mouse-brain" She laughed nuzzling into him Smallpaw gave a goofy grin, "I know" he meowed, "I know" He chuckled. Ravenpaw giggled a bit she looked up at the sky, "Do you think father is watching us?" She asked, Smallpaw nodded, "I know he is" He meowed, "he promised he'd always be with us" Ravenpaw sighed, Smallpaw nodded, "he is, in our hearts he is always there" Smallpaw licked her ears comfortingly. Ravenpaw nodded her head, "Always and forever" she meowed, "Forever and always" Smallpaw chuckled, Ravenpaw cuffed his head lightly, "Oh brother" She said rolling her eyes, Smallpaw laughed happily, "That's my Ravenpaw!" He said, Ravenpaw smiled happily towards him, her gaze casted at him, and his at her.
No more was Ravenpaw happy, only for Smallpaw. Ravenpaw looked down sadly, her eyes looked towards the empty space beside her, tears threatened to fall as she stared at it. How could it be only a little while after her fathers den she should lose two more she cared for? Silentclaw had been her mentor, he had been an amazing tom. Silentclaw was assigned to be Smallpaw and Ravenpaw's mentor after Shockmask died.
Silentclaw a slender, short-haired, dark grey tom. His eyes golden and always seemed to stare through you. He was wise when he spoke; his voice a sense of coldness arose when you heard it, yet hidden deep within was a kindness only Ravenpaw and Smallpaw knew. He lowered his gaze to them, "Morning apprentices, ready to go?" He meowed, Smallpaw grinned widely, where as Ravenpaw smiled, but only a bit. "Yep!" They chimed, Smallpaw sounding excited and Ravenpaw a wee bit nervous because they were leaving camp. Silentclaw smiled a bit at them, his smile faded as he got up and padded out with the tiny apprentices following him.
Somehow along the way, she fell in love with the brilliantly quiet tom. She was often with him, he was kind to them, and he understood them. He became kinda like a replacement father for them, but somehow she fell in love. He admitted that he liked her as well, but they kept it secret.
Silentclaw smiled softly at her, "Your rather sweet" he said, "Sweet really?" Ravenpaw asked smirking a bit, "You are to me" He said licking her softly, Ravenpaw blushed a bit. Smallpaw purred, "Aren't you to cute" He taunted playfully. "Smallpaw!" Ravenpaw hissed she jumped at him tackling him to the ground Smallpaw laughed happily, "Don't worry I won't tell anyone" he said softly to her smiling. Ravenpaw couldn't stay mad at him she smiled a bit, "You better not" she said. "Both of you come on, we're heading back" Silentclaw said watching them with his brilliant golden eyes. Ravenpaw smiled and limped over to him, she purred brushing against him, how had it come that she had felt so happy and in love. Smallpaw padded to her side and smiled at her warmly with his bright reddish orange eyes. Ravenpaw's icy blue eyes watched him softly, they walked together happily.
Ravenpaw frowned thinking of the day she lost Silentclaw to a sickness. She hated that day.
Silentclaw looked up at her, he was weak but he was at least still alive, his beautiful golden eyes looked at her, "Hey beautiful…" he uttered. Ravenpaw stared at him sadly, he was dying yet he was still trying to flirt with her, Ravenpaw put on a fake smile, "Hey handsome…" she said back to him. How could he, he was dying she was losing another cat she loved. "I love you" She whispered softly to him. Smallpaw sat beside her and nuzzled her gently curling his tail around her. Silentclaw smiled, "Thank you, both of you, but mostly you Ravenpaw, thank you for everything, and I will always love you" He said softly, but it was weak. He closed his eyes; no more would he see the cold world that Ravenpaw was starting to hate more and more. "Why thank me for something I didn't do?" She asked, Ravenpaw smiled waiting for his answer her eyes closed… no answer came…her eyes tore up, she looked at him in dread, it couldn't be, his eyes no longer open, his breathing stopped. Her smile faded away with her voice, it felt clogged in her throat as she stared at Silentclaw. No, she wanted to utter, Don't die, she wanted to scream…
She looked at the sky, the sun faded away and turned into night, her icy blue eyes widened as the sunset claimed her mentor's life. "No… Silentclaw!" She screamed at him, nudging him to wake up. "Wake up, please wake up!" She meowed worriedly, sadly, her voice cracking as she shed tears. She nudged him, "Please wake up!" She begged shaking him, she prayed he would wake up and smile, his eyes shimmering, glimmering with that hint of wisdom, cold but kind all at once… he would say in his quiet and silky voice that it was just a joke, that he was kidding, he didn't mean to scare her… yes he would… but after a while… he… he… he didn't move, he didn't wake up, he didn't open his eyes, he didn't even breath…. He couldn't be….. no… he's not… "Ravenpaw" …Gone forever…"Thanks for the mouse beautiful, you wanna share?"…That couldn't be the last time she would hear his voice… it wasn't…"Come on, I bet I can beat you home"…The last time she would ever love someone… "Your too stubborn for your own good, but that's okay, I still love you"…The last time she would get to lick him… feel his fur… "Your beautiful so relax" …The last smile she would ever get to see…"I love you my beautiful she-cat" The last I love you… "I missed you Ravenpaw!" …The last time she could ever be loved…Was it? Yes, it was…
Smallpaw looked at her worriedly, "I'm sorry" he said softly to her, he licked her ears comfortingly as she cried and cried for the loss of Silentclaw.
Ravenpaw shuddered remembering how hurt she was, but she always had Smallpaw. But she lost him as well, why did everyone and everything she loved die on her. It had happened a little while after Silentclaw died, Smallpaw had comforted her enough that she could at least smile again, if only for him.
Two small black cats wandered through the territory, one's shoulder was a bit oddly place and she was a she-cat with icy blue eyes, the other was a tom with fiery reddish orange eyes a goofy grin on his face, they had both wandered a bit too far. A scared Warrior padded behind them nervously. "This place is awesome" Smallpaw laughed looking around in awe, "I could get used to coming here when we're not training" he yelled in excitement, "True it is very nice" Ravenpaw smiled, "NICE?" he yelled in disbelief, "it's wonderful, it matches your attitude nicely, It's dark and dank, yet in its own way it's also a beautiful mystery" He told his sister. "Who in Starclan would have thought, you knew words like that" Ravenpaw smirked, Smallpaw laughed, she chuckled with him the two twins smiling happily at each other. Suddenly an eerie silence fell upon the 2 cats. "Something's wrong" Ravenpaw pointed out. Smallpaw nodded, the two black cats looked around, but it was too late, they turned around and this huge badger was behind them. "No" Ravenpaw whispered before leaping into the air, only to get knocked away by its giant claw. "RAVENPAW" Smallpaw screamed, the warrior turned tail and ran not even bothering to help the small apprentices, Smallpaw turned to the badger and attacked it, biting its neck. Its cry echoed across the sky, it knocked him away, he landed a few paces away, and he got up and ran to Ravenpaw.
"Ravenpaw look at me are you okay" he yelled at her, she had a huge gash on her back, she looked up at him "I'm fine just a scratch" she got up as blood dripped from her wound, "let's get it" she hissed, Smallpaw nodded, they attacked it together. They fought bravely but it wasn't enough the badger overpowered them; it knocked Ravenpaw away, and took its chance to crush Smallpaw, the badger stepped on his back crushing him. "NO!" Ravenpaw cried she tried to get up and help him, but she couldn't move, the gash was stopping her, she screamed loudly and got up running at it, she bit onto it's paw but it knocked her off easily, bashing her against the ground, with a sickening crack she blacked out.
Ravenpaw woke up a little while afterwards, her shoulder ached with pain, she couldn't move, she was in to much pain. She could almost picture her life, the horrors she went through. It was then her icy blue eyes shot open in fear, where was Smallpaw? She looked around and seen him, he was laying a little ways away from where she was, he was facing her, his eyes weren't open and she couldn't tell if he was breathing. She managed to drag herself over to him and lay at his side facing him. "S-Smallpaw?" She meowed, her voice was barely a whisper, "R-ravenpaw" Smallpaw choked out, he opened he's eyes slowly, the reddish orange colours, once so bright and full of life became devoid of all of it and quite pale. "Hey Ravenpaw…" he meowed, his voice weaker then even her own, "Smallpaw!" Ravenpaw cried out seeing him, he lay unmoving his body not even moving with pain, but she could see it in his pale eyes, he was weak, and in very much pain… he was dying… "Ravenpaw… I d-don't think I can make it" he said weakling, "No! Don't leave me alone, not again, please, promise me!" Ravenpaw begged him she couldn't stand to hear him admit that he was dying.
"I'm so sorry Ravenpaw, b-but I can't promise that, goodbye doesn't mean forever, we'll see each other again, you know what they say, Beginnings are sometimes scary, Endings are sometimes sad, but it's everything in between that makes it all worth wild. We've had some good times haven't we" he laughed, "lots of good times" Ravenpaw cried, "But we've also had our ups and downs" Smallpaw meowed quietly, "Like with Mother and our siblings, and Dad… and then Silentclaw" he meowed, Ravenpaw nodded her head crying sadly, "Oh Smallpaw, please don't leave me" She pleaded again, she couldn't stand the thought of losing him again, what would she do without him, why couldn't she be dying with him? WHY? "I'm sorry" he said, "You promised we would always be together!" Ravenpaw cried sadly, frantically almost, she was desperate to change his mind about dying but she knew in her heart that it was too late for that. Smallpaw flashed her a gentle smile, and leaned his head closer to hers, she could see the twisted pain in his expression but she was too weak to stop him. He gave her a soft but comforting lick, then placed his head back his face in pain. Ravenpaw cried sadly, "S-Smallpaw" She said understanding him better than anyone else. He's eyes casted towards the sky; Ravenpaw followed his gaze and almost died upon the sight before her. A beautiful, but deathly sunset lingered above them.
"Look the sunset, let's watch" Smallpaw said, she could tell he missed when they used to watch it all the time, she herself stopped watching the sunsets with him after Silentclaw died, but she had no choice, this was his dying wish and she would make it come true, no matter how much it depressed her. They began to speak quietly once more as the sun started to set, "This is nice…" Smallpaw meowed softly, "Yes…" Ravenpaw followed, "I'll miss this…" Smallpaw's voice getting smaller, "So will I… I wish we could get to… even if just once more" Ravenpaw meowed, silence followed, "Smallpaw?" she turned and looked into his pale reddish orange eyes, tears fell from her eyes, the sun had set, and she knew he was gone forever, she cried as she knew this was Smallpaw's last sunset, her heart broke into a hundred pieces that day. The sunset claimed another one of her beloved ones. The sunset became her mortal enemy she refused to watch it for every time she did watch it, she lost someone she loved dearly and they disappeared with the sun into the night filled with stars.
Ravenpaw's eyes filled with sorrow, how could it be she had lost everything she loved, still be alive and yet fell like she was dead on the inside. Her soul ripped out with Smallpaw's death and her own heart dead without it. Dead. Broken. Torn into pieces, at least more than a hundred, of which could never be fixed or replaced. She had nothing to live for. What did life mean to her anymore? Nothing, it meant nothing and it always would. She was lost in a world of nothing but death. Was death better than life? In her mind it was…
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